she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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