Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
