I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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