did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
