I must be too annoying 4 u.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize