Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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