Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
