bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
