Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
