You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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