Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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