I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
