So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
