People in love make me want to vomit
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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