ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
