did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
