Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
