So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
