i already hear my dad disowning me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
