he puts the penis in happiness.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
