Jerry, you need to find god
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
