he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
