we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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