i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Houston, we have a blender
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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