Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
