We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize