i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
