You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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