Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
