my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
