It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
