If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
All I want is dick and wine.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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