ya dads aren't the best wingmen
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
