Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
