farters have to be the big spoon...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
