I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
