New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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