Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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