so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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