the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
