please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
