she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
