i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
