Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
