my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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