Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize