I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
