____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
