Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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