You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
