During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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