Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
