I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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