Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
