wat bout pragnant strippers??
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am one with the molecules
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
