I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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