4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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