You can't motorboat a personality
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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