i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
