Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize