The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
