textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
