North Korea, Best Korea!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
