CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
